As the night wears on and sleepiness sets in, I can't stop thinking about how I might never be able to hold the love of my life in my arms again. I might not be able to kiss those warm, loving lips again. I might not be able to fall asleep next to the girl of my dreams and wake up and see her smiling back at me.
I've had my fair share of heart break but none of it is anything compared to this. What she and I had was different. We were comfortable with each other from the start. We took showers together, we went clothes shopping together, even made dinner together a time or two. The days I spent with her were magical. Even though I would fight about random, useless shit, I loved her and still love her with every fiber of my being.
Nothing can ever take away the great times we shared, but what you never hear about is the fact that nothing can bring them back either. I had the time of my life with this amazing girl who will remain nameless and nothing will ever change that. But also, I might never be able to have that back again. She's the love of my life, and as I said before, my first true love, the first girl I ever made love to, and as some of you don't know, the first girl I ever spent a night with.
But now, God is in my heart and He is helping me more than I ever thought possible. But it's this time of day when my loneliness really begins to set in and the darkness surrounds me. Only now do I come off of my good mood, and see what true life is really like. Restless nights, cold sweats, uncontrollable shaking and vomiting. These are just a few of my problems of my nightly routine.
I want nothing more than her to be happy in whatever she does. I love her with all of my heart and I can't stand the thought of her being lonely or unhappy..
Thanks for listening,